To Be the Fool—in Literature and Life

Rejecting winning in a world that prizes winning

A few years ago, I made a New Year’s resolution to relinquish my need to be right.

We’ve all been there, right? Whether in a casual conversation or a meeting at work or in a political “discussion” on Twitter, we insist on our version of events, arguing ardently for our opinion.

The need to be right is fundamentally a part of being human because we yearn to be seen and understood, but it can lead to lifelong grudges and even wars (another fundamental part of being human, unfortunately).

I made my resolution because it occurred to me that when you fight for your position in an unyielding way, you usually don’t convince the other person of anything. You’re right all by yourself, and sometimes you’ve made the world a little worse for trying to make another see how right you are.

It was a fascinating resolution because it was an exercise in humility. Every time I felt the need to do battle, I paused, stepped back, and let it go. I gradually learned that it could be a joy to shrug things off. I didn’t have to deal with all of the emotions that come with digging into a position, and I tended to open up and listen to others more. Instead of arguing, I asked questions. A potential debate became a…